I received a note this morning asking me to write a blog post for an upcoming event. And I suddenly had the shocking realization that I hadn’t done my Monday Musings blog post. My very first thought was “ugh, how could I have done this...again?!” And then I took a deep breath and remembered to have compassion for myself. I reminded myself that I am a small business owner, with not one but two businesses, and that I’m working on umpteen projects. Even with the immense amount of help I receive from other folks, things are going to be forgotten or missed. With these reassurances I started to feel better.
We all have moments when we forget to do something, or when we’ve said something that we feel was “wrong” or embarrassing; we have all had the experience of making a mistake. Self-compassion is a different way to approach those mistakes. Take a moment and consider what your first thought would be if you feel you’d just made a mistake. Was that first thought something unkind to yourself? That’s okay. Recognizing our patterns is the first step in changing them. We are accustomed to using these mistakes as a stick with which to beat ourselves, rather than what they are, an opportunity to better understand ourselves and an invitation to create new patterns.
Here are three steps towards increased self-compassion that you can start using right now!
Notice that you’re being unkind to yourself (this is really the hardest one!)
Pause and take a few deep breaths.
Speak to yourself the way that you speak to a dear friend who just told you they’d made a similar mistake. Without even knowing you, I can guarantee that you’d be nicer to your friend then you are being to yourself.
In the beginning this might feel clunky and awkward, but the more you practice, the more this becomes second nature. You’ll be able to ask yourself, am I being as kind to myself as I would be to another person? And if not, start to make adjustments. As I did this morning. And I even got a blog post idea out of it!
Nerdmaste friends and be kind to yourselves.